Abantu bakunze kuvuga ko iyo ushaka kwihuta ugenda wenyine, ariko washaka kugera kure akajyana n'abandi. Ibyo babivuga bagamije gushishikariza abantu gukorera hamwe no guhuza imbaraga. Ariko ikintu batazakubwira ni uko gukorana n’abantu baguca intege cyangwa batagira icyo bakungura birutwa cyane no gukora wenyine.

Mukaruziga Shakira w’imyaka 34 uri mu bagore bari mu Kigo Ngororamuco cya Gitagata kubera gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge, ni umwe mu bari ‘Aba-Slay Queens’ bakanyujijeho mu myaka ya za 2013 kugeza 2022. Yasobanuye ko yisanze i Dubai ahuza abakobwa bicuruza n’abagabo barimo ibyamamare.

Uko urushaho gukunda umuntu ni ko wumva ufite ibitotsi iyo muri kumwe, ariko abantu benshi ntibasobanukiwe ko kugira ibitotsi iyo uri kumwe n’umuntu ari kimwe mu byerekana ko umwiyumvamo cyane.

Tuvugishije ukuri, n’ubwo abahungu biruka ku bakobwa babatereta rimwe na rimwe bakabatera indobo, iyo bigeze ku gushaka ikibuga kiricurika, kuko abasore ari bo baba bitezweho gusaba abakobwa ko babana. Niyo mpamvu uzabona abakobwa benshi bifuza gushaka ariko abakunzi babo ntibagire icyo bibwira.

Ejo bundi nagiye kurya muri restaurant, maze umuseriveri ambwira ko ibyo nari ntumije biri butware iminota 20. Nubwo nari nshonje cyane ariko numvaga gutegereza iminota 20 nta cyo bitwaye. Byarangiye ntegereje koko, ndategereza isaha irashira. Byatumye nibaza nti byagenda bite abantu bose baramutse babyutse kubeshya babyibagiwe? Mbese kubeshya bitakibaho. Birumvikana ko byagira ingaruka nziza hamwe n’ingaruka mbi. Reka duhere ku ngaruka mbi.

Umwanditsi w'ibitabo ku mateka y'u Rwanda, Mukagasana Yolande, yahishuye ibikubiye mu ibaruwa Abapadiri bari barahungiye i Goma mu 1994 bandikiye Papa Yohani Pawulo II, yasanzwe mu rugo rwa Paul Rusesabagina mu 1994, ivuga ko abari abayoboke ba Kiliziya Gatolika icyo gihe mu Rwanda, batashakaga abapadiri b'Abatutsi nyamara ari ibinyoma.

Ugerageza guha abantu ibisobanuro bitomoye no kubumvisha impamvu wafashe umwanzuro runaka, ugahitamo amagambo ubyitondeye n’imvugo iboneye ariko n’ubundi bakiyumvira ibyo bashaka kumva. Ibyo ntabwo bibaho ku bw’impanuka. Ahubwo ni ko biba bigomba kugenda, kuko udashobora kugena amarangamutima y’abantu n’uko bakira ibikorwa byawe.

Wari ubizi? Hari abantu bagira ubwoba bw’ibiterezo by’abandi! Allodoxaphobia ni ubwoba bwo kumva icyo abandi bantu bagutekerezaho. Umuntu ufite ubu bwoba aba atinya cyane ko abandi bamubona nabi kandi aba yiteguye gukora igishoboka cyose ngo bamubone neza.

Ni nde wababwiye ko kubyibuha ari bibi? Kubera ko abantu bakunze kwibanda ku ngaruka mbi zo kubyibuha, uyu munsi reka tuganire ku byiza byabyo.

Bamwe mu basore basigaye bagaragaza ko umunsi wa Saint Valentin wabaye umutwaro kuri bo, kuko ubasaba kwikokora ngo bagurirere impano abakunzi babo kugira ngo batabatakaza.

Reka nkubwire akantu k’ubwenge. Nutegeka umuntu gukora ikintu, azashaka impamvu zo kutagikora, n’ubwo cyaba ari cyiza kuri we, cyangwa se yanashakaga kugikora.

Reka uyu munsi nganire n’abasore ndetse n’abagabo. Uribuka igihe Saint Valentin yageraga, ukumva wabuze aho ukwirwa kuko udafite ubushobozi bwo kugura ibyo uzi byanezeza umukunzi wawe, byanarimba ugafata amadeni kugira ngo uwo munsi uwurenge amahoro?

Gutandukana n’umuntu wakundaga cyane birababaza. Ibyo ubonye byose biramukwibutsa. Ibihe by’imvura byagera bikarushaho kuba bibi. Waca ku hantu mwajyaga musohokera, ukibuka ari kugutamika. Rero sinakurenganya niba ugerageza kwikuramo uwo mwahoze mukundana bikakunanira.

Mbese ujya wibaza impamvu buri gihe iyo ukundanye n’umuntu mutandukana mutamaranye kabiri? Mutangira ibintu bimeze neza, aguhamagara buri munsi, akakwandikira ubutumwa bugufi buri joro, kandi akagusohokana. Mbese wumva wibereye muri Paradizo. Mu gihe utangiye gutekereza ku hazaza h’umubano wanyu, agatangira kuguhamagara rimwe na rimwe, na byo bikagera aho bigashira wanamuhamagara ntiyitabe, wamwandikira ntagusubize.

Turi kwegereza ibihe bya Saint Valentin, umunsi wahariwe abakundana. Ni umunsi abakundana berekanaho urukundo binyuze mu bintu byinshi birimo impano, gusohokana bakagirana ibihe byiza n’ibindi.

Wari uzi ko abantu bakunda guseka mu bibabaje baba ari abahanga cyane mu kugenzura amarangamutima yabo? Iyo ukunda kwisanga uri guseka mu bihe bibabaje nko mu kiriyo, uri gutongana n’abantu, cyangwa ufite ubukene, kiba ari ikimenyetso cy’uko ufite ubushobozi bwimbitse bwo kugenzura amarangamutima yawe.

Imibare y’Ikigo cy’Igihugu gishinzwe Ibarurishamibare (NISR) igaragaza ko mu mwaka wa 2023, mu Rwanda imiryango 3.213 yatse gatanya ivuye ku miryango 21 mu 2016. Abo byabayeho bazi neza ko nta kintu kibabaza nko gutandukana n’uwo wakundaga by’umwihariko mwanabanye nk’umugabo n’umugore. Ariko se bibaye ngombwa, gusubirana na we byaba ari igitekerezo cyiza?

Earvin “Magic” Johnson ni umwe mu banyabigwi bahinduye amateka ya Basketball ku Isi, haba mu kibuga no hanze yacyo ndetse afatwa nk’umukinnyi mwiza kurusha abandi bakinnye ku mwanya wa ‘point guard’ mu mateka ya NBA.

Mu Bushinwa hashyizweho inyuguti nshya ‘X也’ ivuga ngenga y’abantu batibona nk’abagabo cyangwa abagore ibizwi nka ‘nonbinary’. Ntiyari isanzwe mu nyuguti zigize ururimi rw’Igishinwa.

Nganji Cyriaque na Iradukunda Chantal batuye mu Karere ka Kayonza mu Murenge wa Ruramira, bavuga ko bari bamaranye imyaka itandatu babana mu ntugunda kubera kuvunishanya byanakuruye amakimbirane mu rugo rwabo.