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Kuki abakobwa badakunze gufata iya mbere mu kubwira abahungu ko babakunda?

Yanditswe na Sonia Umuhoza
Kuya 28 June 2022 saa 11:38
Yasuwe :

Bijya bibaho ko umukobwa areba umuhungu akumva aramukunze, ariko si kenshi uzabona umukobwa wafashe iya mbere akabwira umuhungu ko amukunda. Uzasanga ashobora kubimwereka akoresheje ibimenyetso, abe yabinyuza mu nshuti ze n’ibindi, ariko kwifatira icyemezo akabimubwira imbonankubone, ni ibintu bishobora abakobwa bake.

Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe n’urubuga rwa Shaadi, bwagaragaje ko 90% by’abahungu bumva bafata iya mbere mu kwegera abakobwa bakunze, mu gihe abakobwa batekereza gufata iya mbere mu kubwira umuhungu ko bamukunze ari 19% gusa.

Ku rundi ruhande, abakobwa barenga 70% bavuze ko badashobora gufata iya mbere mu kubwira umuhungu ko bamukunda, kabone nubwo mu mutima wabo byaba bicika.

Uretse gufata iya mbere mu kugaragaza amarangamutima, abakobwa banagaragaje ko badakunze gufata iya mbere mu gusaba abahungu ko basohokana, kabone nubwo baba babyifuza.

Histogram yatangaje ko abakobwa 93% bifuza gusabwa n’abahungu ko basohokana, aho kugira ngo abe ari bo babisaba, mu gihe abahungu 86% bavuze ko bifuza gufata iya mbere mu gusaba abakobwa ko basohokana, aho kugira ngo abakobwa abe ari bo babisaba.

Ibi byose byerekana ko abakobwa badafite umuco wo gusaba abahungu urukundo, nyamara nabo bagira amarangamutima. Ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwakunze kwerekana ko abagore bifuza imibonano mpuzabitsina kurusha abagabo.

Nubwo bimeze bityo, ‘Ihame rya Bateman’ rivuga ko abagore bakunze kwifata cyane no kwitondera amahitamo bakora mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, kuko baba bifuza umuntu bakwizera, ushobora no kubagoboka mu gihe imibonano mpuzabitsina ivuyemo gutwara inda n’ibindi nk’ibyo.

Umushakashatsi mu bijyanye n’imibanire y’abantu, Gittanjali Saxena, yabwiye Hindustantimes ko imwe mu mpamvu zituma abagabo bakunze gufata iya mbere mu kubwira abagore ko babakunda, ijyanye n’uburyo ibintu byakunze kugenda mu myaka ibihumbi ishize.

Yavuze ko “Abagabo muri rusange bakunze gufata iya mbere mu kwegera abagore. Bisa nk’aho ari ko abagore biyumva kuva mu myaka ibihumbi ishize. Abagore biyumvamo ko abagabo ari bo bakwiriye gufata iya mbere mu kubabwira ko babakunda.”

Yashimangiye ko bitewe n’uko uyu muco wakozwe igihe kirekire, byaje kugera ubwo abagore batinyutse kubwira abagabo ko babakunda bifatwa nko guta umuco no kurengera, bituma n’ugiye kubikora, agira ubwoba bw’uko ashobora kwangirwa, cyangwa se akanengwa nk’umuntu utagira umuco.

Ibi byiyongeraho ko usanga abakobwa bakunze kugira isoni kurusha abahungu, kandi “Kubwira umuntu ko umukunda bwa mbere bisaba kwiyemeza, kuko hari ubwo uwo muntu aba ashobora kuba yakwangira, bikaba byagutera umubabaro n’ikimwaro. Ibyo byose bishobora gutera umukobwa isoni no kugira ikimwaro arabyirinda.”

Ku rundi ruhande, “Abagore bakunda ko abagabo bababwira ko babakunda kuko bumva bitaweho, bakumva bahawe agaciro kurusha bityo bikabaha icyizere cy’uko urukundo rwabo ruzaramba, kuko bumva ko umugabo wafashe iya mbere mu kubegera afite ubushake bwo kuzagumana nabo, aho kuba yifuza inyungu z’umwanya muto nk’imibonano mpuzabitsina.”

Izindi mpamvu zirimo imico itandukanye, harimo n’ibuza abagore gufata icyemezo nk’icyo cyo kubwira umugabo ko bamukunze.

Mu rwego rwo kwerekana aya marangamutima, usanga abagore bakoresha ubundi buryo burimo kwerekana ibimenyetso bishobora gushitura umuhungu, bigatuma abona ko kubwira uwo mukobwa ko amukunda bishobora gutanga umusaruro mwiza, kuko uwo mukobwa aba asa nk’ubyiteguye.

Bimwe mu bimenyetso bizakwereka ko umukobwa yakunze umuhungu ariko akaba atifuza kubimubwira, harimo kumuha umwanya uhagije, kumubwira amabanga ye, kumwereka inshuti ze, kwemera gukora ibintu adakunze kugira ngo amushimishe, urugero rwiza rukaba nko kwemera kurebana na we umupira n’ibindi.

Uyu mukobwa kandi ashobora guhora yifuza kumenya amakuru yawe, akakubaza uko wiriwe, warwara akaba uwa mbere wo kukwitaho, akifuza kumenya ababyeyi bawe mbega ukabona ari umuntu ukwizera, akagira inama nziza cyane cyane izirimo kwizigamira, kureka cyangwa kugabanya inzoga, kugira imishinga migari nko kubaka inzu, gukomeza amashuri, gufungura ibigo by’ubucuruzi n’ibindi nk’ibyo.

Ibintu byarahindutse…

Bitewe n’iterambere ry’Isi muri rusange ritasize inyuma iterambere ry’abagore, muri iyi minsi uri gusanga abagore cyangwa abakobwa nabo bagira uruhare mu kubwira umusore ko babakunda.

Ibi biterwa n’uko muri rusange abakobwa bari kurushaho gutera imbere, benshi bakabona imirimo ibaha amafaranga ku buryo bimwe by’uko umugore ahora ategereje umusore uzamwitaho biri kugenda bihinduka.

Ku ruhande rumwe, abakobwa bagirwa inama yo gukomeza kwitinyuka ku buryo bashobora kubwira umuhungu ko bamukunze, igihe bumva bimeze gutyo.

Abahungu nabo bagirwa inama yo kumva ko umukobwa ukubwiye ko agukunze nta gikuba aciye, kuko mwese amarangamutima yanyu ari amwe, ndetse impamvu zatumaga abahungu ari bo bagira inshingano zo kuyobora urukundo hagati y’umuhungu n’umukobwa zikaba ziri kugenda zihinduka, cyane cyane muri iyi Si y’iterambere.

Akenshi abahungu nibo bafata iya mbere mu kubwira abakobwa ko babakunda

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