Ibi bishobora kuba rimwe nta kibazo, gusa iyo bibaye kabiri bikaba gatatu, ni igihe cyiza cyo kwisuzuma ntuhore wumva ko amakosa ari ku bandi gusa, ahubwo nawe ugahaguruka ugafata inshingano.

Chris Dixon, umushoramari n’umwanditsi w’ibitabo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, yagaragaje ko guterwa indobo ari ibintu umusore wese ashobora kwitega mu buzima, cyane ko bidashoboka ko abakobwa bose wakunda nabo bagukunda.

Ati "Kugerageza rimwe cyangwa inshuro nke ntibihagije. Bisa nk’aho wagiye witeze intsinzi 100%."

Niba rero uterwa indobo bihoraho, aho ubajije bakaguha inkwenene; hari ibyo ukwiriye kwitaho:

1. Abagore ntibatekereza kimwe n’abagabo

Rimwe mu makosa abagabo bakunze gukora, ni ukumva ko umugore atekereza kimwe n’abagabo kandi nk’uko imibiri yacu itandukanye, n’ibitekerezo byacu ntaho bihuriye.

Mu guhitamo umugabo azabana na we, umugore areba ibintu byinshi byose bigamije kurebera hamwe niba umugabo yenda guhitamo afite ubushobozi bwo kuzamwitaho n’abana, ntabe ari wa wundi uzata umuryango.

Kureba kuri ibi, abagore babibona mu buryo bwinshi burimo imbaraga z’umubiri z’umugabo, kuko zimwereka ko uwo mugabo azarinda urugo. Ubwenge bumwereka ko azamenya kuruhahira, kugira ikinyabupfura bikamwizeza ko atazamwandagaza, yaba afite amafaranga bikamwumvisha ko atazagira ibibazo bitandukanye by’ubuzima, ngo bibe byaba ngombwa ko akora atwite n’ibindi.

Kenshi ibi ni ibintu abagore batekereza batanabizi, ariko ugasanga bitumye bafata icyemezo runaka mu bijyanye n ’urukundo. Ni yo mpamvu uzasanga umusore akundana n’inkumi, ariko bwacya kabiri ugasanga inkumi yishakiye undi mugabo batanamaranye igihe kirekire; kenshi icyo aba yarebyeho ni ubwo bushobozi bumwizeza ko umuntu bagiye kubana azamwitaho mu gihe kirekire, we n’abana be.

Ku musore rero, ikintu cya mbere cyiza wakora ni ukuba umuntu ufite uko ubayeho, ntube uri wa wundi wirirwa mu rugo waranze imirimo, uri umunenganenzi icyo ushaka ari ugusinda no kwirebera Premier League. Ibi byerekana ko uri umunebwe, kandi ubwo bunebwe ntibwahahira urugo, ari na yo mpamvu utizerwa n’abagore.

Shaka uko wubaka ikofi, nutabishobora nonaha nibura ubyubakire ahazaza, uzabigereho mu gihe kiri imbere.

2. Ubundi ukeneye umukunzi?

Mu rukundo ntabwo ari ahantu abantu bajya gusa ibintu byose bikikora. Kimwe n’uko ibyo ushaka kugeraho byose ubikorera mu buzima, n’urukundo rurabagarirwa. Niba ushaka gukundwa n’umuntu mugomba kumenyana, ugomba kumutunguza impano n’utundi tuntu dusaba umwanya n’amafaranga.

Ni yo mpamvu uzumva bavuga ko urukundo atari urwa bose, kuko hari igihe usanga umusore ukiri muto ari kwiruka mu bakobwa hirya no hino ariko mu by’ukuri nta gahunda afite y’urwo rukundo ashaka. Ibi rero umukobwa aba ashobora kubibona, akabona ko rwose ukiri umuntu wishakisha utazi ibyo urimo, bityo akagutera indobo kabone n’ubwo waba wakoze iyo bwabaga.

Ibi binajyana n’uko imibiri yacu iteye, kuko usanga ku mpuzandengo ya henshi ku Isi abakobwa bashaka mbere y’abahungu, ibi bigasobanura ko baba bafite umwanya muto wo gutakaza ku muntu udafite gahunda mu rukundo. Nizere ko ibi bitumye usobanukirwa impamvu abakobwa n’abahungu bakundana muri ’secondaire’ badakunze gukomeza urukundo rwabo ngo banubake urugo.

3. Menya kugenda gake

Niba nta ruhare ugira mu gutuma Isi izenguruka Izuba, wagakwiriye no kumenya ko bijya biba byiza mu buzima gucisha make.

No mu nzira yo gushaka urukundo ni uko bigenda. Kenshi uba ugiye usaba, ntabwo uba ugiye gutegeka. Abakobwa aho bava bakagera bakunda umuntu ushobora kubereka ko yumva impamvu y’ibintu, umuntu udakoresha imbaraga buri gihe kugira ngo agere ku cyo ashaka.

Kenshi usanga ujya kuvugisha umukobwa wareze agatuza, bigasa nk’aho umwumvisha ko gukundana na we ari nko kumugirira impuhwe. N’iyo byaba bimeze bitya, ukaba ari nawe umutunze rwose, si ngombwa kubigaragaza gutya.

Icyiza ni ukumwereka ko umuhaye agaciro, kugira ngo akubonemo umuntu yakwizera, akumva ko n’icyaba cyose, nubwo byaba ari ukukubyarira, uzamuba hafi. Nta buryo wapfa kubigaragaza udaciye bugufi, cyane cyane mu gihe mukiri guteretana.

Ibi ariko ntibivuze ko utagomba kwigirira icyizere, ngo ugende uri wa musore ufite intinyi udashobora no kureba umukobwa mu maso. Oya, ibi biratandukanye. Guca bugufi tuvuga hano ni uguha umuntu agaciro, ukumva uruhande rwe, ukamwereka ko afite ijambo mu biri kuba, kuko burya nta muntu ukunda gukoreshwa mu buryo tuzi nka ’cishwa aha.’

4. Wihatiriza

Reka rero tuvuge ko wakoze ibi byose n’ibindi byinshi ariko umukobwa akanga akakubera ibamba. Mu gihe byagenze gutyo, nyabuneka cisha make wigendere. Guhatiriza kenshi ntibikunze gutuma umukobwa yisubiraho, cyane cyane iyo mutari mwakwinjira mu rukundo byeruye, wenda ngo uvuge ko ushaka guhabwa imbabazi n’amahirwe ya kabiri.

Ibyo guhatiriza umukobwa utagushaka ni bibi kurushaho kuko uretse kuba bimubangamira, binatuma arushaho kukuzinukwa burundu, cyane ko uba uri kwiyerekana nk’aho ubuzima bwawe nta murongo wundi bwari bufite mutarinjira mu guteretana.

Abasore bake cyane barimo ibyamamare, abakire, abateye neza bitangaje n’abandi nk’abo, ni bo bonyine bashobora kwizera ko hafi ya buri mukobwa basabye umwanya awubaha, ku buryo rero mu gihe utari muri abo, ukwiriye kumenya ko nta kinini cyo kwerekana gihari cyatuma abakobwa bakubaha cyane.

Amahirwe ni uko ufite ubushobozi bwo guhindura uko umeze, yaba ku mubiri, mu bitekerezo no mu mufuka. Icyo rero ni cyo wagakwiriye gushyiramo imbaraga, aho kwiruka inyuma y’abakobwa batagushaka, ubatesha umwanya wabo nawe utiretse.

Hari n’ubwo umukobwa ashobora kubona ko wakomeje guhatiriza cyane, agafata icyemezo cyo kugukoresha mu nyungu ze gusa. Urugero, ugasanga ni wowe muntu ahora yaka amafaranga, nyamara ntimukundana cyangwa ngo mube inshuti zigurizanya amafaranga n’ibindi.

Mu kwirinda ibyo byose rero, ukwiriye kumenya kuzibukira, watereta bikanga ukamenya kuzinga utwawe ukigendera udateje rwaserera.