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Uburyo wakwitwara mu gihe usohokanye n’umukunzi wawe ku nshuro ya mbere

Yanditswe na Léana Bisa
Kuya 9 July 2022 saa 02:11
Yasuwe :

Weekend irageze, umaze icyumweru uri mu kazi cyangwa se ishuri ryari ryaragutwaye, ariko nta gahora gahanze kera kabaye ubonye umwanya wo kuruhuka uretse ko iyi weekend yihariye, kuko mu by’ibanze wapanze gukora harimo no gusohokana n’umukunzi wawe ku nshuro ya mbere, mukagirana ibiganiro byimbitse nk’abantu injiye mu rukundo.

Mushobora kuba mwarahuriye ku mbuga nkoranyambaga cyangwa se mwarahuye mu bundi buryo, ariko uko byagenda kose iyi ni inshuro ya mbere mugiye ahantu gusangira muri kumwe kandi mwitana abakunzi.

Birumvikana ko akanyamuneza katabura, uretse ko nanone katabura kugendana n’igishyika. Ubu bwoba bushobora gutangira mutaranahura, wibaza uburyo uri buseruke ku nshuro ya mbere, imyambaro uri bube wambaye, uko uri bube uhumura n’ibindi nk’ibyo.

Hejuru y’ibyo, ikiba gikomeye noneho ni ukumenya uburyo uri bwitware nimumara guhura. Ntuzatungurwe kuko hari abantu baca igikuba kuri za WhatsApp ariko mwahura ukayoberwa aho cya giparu cyagiye. Mu gihe rero uri muri icyo cyiciro, mbega utiyizeye ku biganiro uri bugirane n’umukunzi wawe, ntiwabura kugiramo akoba.

Icyakora uko byagenda kose gusangira no gusohokana n’umukunzi wawe ni ingenzi cyane, ari nayo mpamvu muri iyi nkuru tugiye kugaruka ku bintu ushobora gukora mu gihe ugiye kubonana n’umukunzi wawe ariko ku nshuro ya mbere.

Ntimutegure ibintu birenze cyane

Niba ari bwo bwa mbere uhuye n’umuntu imbonankubone, ukaba utamuzi neza mu by’ukuri cyangwa ngo ube uzi ibintu bimwe na bimwe kuri we, nta mpamvu yo gutegura ibintu birenze cyane.

Ibintu birenze ndi kuvuga ni nko gupanga kubonana amasaha menshi cyangwa se kwirirwana cyangwa ibindi bintu ubona ko bisa nk’ibikabije.

Niba muri kubitegura, wategura ibintu byoroshye nko kujyana ahantu hafi y’aho mushobora gutaha byoroshye, mbega ntimutegure ibintu bidasanzwe cyangwa ubona ko bikabije.

Ku ruhande rumwe, gutegura ibintu bihenze bishobora kwerekana ko witaye ku muntu cyangwa se wamuhaye agaciro, ariko ku rundi ruhande, bishobora gukanga uwo mukundana, agakeka ko uri kwiyemera.

Niyo mpamvu ari byiza gutegura ibintu byoroshye ku nshuro ya mbere, ahubwo ukibanda cyane ku biganiro. Ibiganiro nibyo mutima w’igikorwa cyo gusohokana n’umukunzi wawe, iyo mwaganiriye neza, ibyo bihe ntimubyibagirwa.

Aho kumara umwanya utekereza inkoko muri burye na divayi muri burenzeho, shyira imbaraga mu gushaka ingingo nziza muri buganireho n’uburyo muri buziganireho. Nibyo ibiganiro bishobora guhindagurika hakazamo izindi ngingo nyinshi, ariko iyo wateguye umurongo byerekana ko igikorwa cyo gusohokana wari ugifite ku mutima.

Ntugahatirize

Iyo ugiye guhura n’umuntu bwa mbere nk’abantu bakundana, usanga hari amatsiko menshi umufiteho. Nk’urugero, uba ushaka kumenya amateka ye n’ibindi. Ibi bituma muri bya biganiro mugirana, ugira utya ukatunagamo uti ‘harya ukomoka he? Wize he? N’utundi tubazo nk’utwo.

Ibi ntacyo bitwaye kuko kumenyana hagati y’abantu bakundana ari ingenzi, ariko nanone jya uzirikana ko nta mwana uvuka ngo yuzure ingombyi, ibintu byose bigenda bikura gahoro gahoro.

Kenshi hari ubwo abantu bajya gukundana bari basanzwe baziranye, wenda bariganye, barakuranye n’ibindi nk’ibyo, icyo gihe biba byoroshye. Icyakora ku muntu mutari musanzwe muziranye cyane, ni ingenzi kwirinda guhatiriza no kumubaza ibintu ashobora kuba atarabohokerwa no kukubwira.

Nimuganira ukamubaza ikintu ukabona ari kwicisha ku ruhande cyangwa ntagisobanure neza, wihatiriza nk’aho aho wamuzanye ari mu cyumba cy’iperereza. Twara ibintu gahoro, ganira neza mu kinyabupfura, wikwirata ibyo wagezeho cyangwa imishinga y’akataraboneka uteganya, tuza uganire n’umukunzi ku buzima busanzwe, ibintu bishobora gutuma mumenyana aho gutuma atangira kukwibazaho.

Irinde kurambirana

Wari wamarana n’umuntu amasaha abiri mwitwa ko muri kuganira, ariko ukumva ntaraguha umwanya na muto wo kuvuga? Ni ibintu birambirana cyane, aho usanga umuntu akuvanye mu mateka ye n’uburyo yari umwana w’igitangaza, akakwinjiza mu buzima bwo mu ishuri, ubwo kabaye mwinjiye mu kazi yakoze bwa mbere paka amasaha akirenga utarabona aho upfumurira uvuga, ahubwo ukumva ari kwibaza anisubiza.

Niba uri kwitegura kubonana n’umuntu byaba byiza nabwo ugiye utekereza ku bintu byo kuvugaho, kandi ukirinda ko mubura ibintu muza kuganiraho. Hari ibintu byinshi mushobora kuganira kandi bitaza kurambirana ku buryo buri wese yisanzura. Ibiganiro biryoha iyo buri wese afite ijambo, rero ni ngombwa kujya utanga ijambo ku mukunzi wawe, kuko aho kumubwira ibintu byinshi ahubwo wamutega amatwi cyane.

Ibi bishobora gutuma buri wese yumva yisanzuye atekanye ku buryo mubasha kuganira neza.

Wikwiharira ijambo

Mu gihe mugiye guhura bwa mbere n’umukunzi wawe, ugomba kureka akavuga ntumwime ijambo. Hari igihe umuntu ashobora gukomeza kuvuga akibagirwa ko hari icyo uwo bari kumwe yifuza no kuvuga.

Ushobora kuganiriza umuntu mu gihe ubona ko atarisanzura neza ariko ibiganiro ntibyizingire kuri wowe gusa ahubwo ugacishamo nawe ukamubaza ibibazo kugira ngo yirekure.

Tega amatwi uwo muri kumwe

Abantu bakunda iyo umuntu ari kubereka ko yabitayeho, mu gihe rero uri kuganira n’umuntu biba byiza iyo umweretse ko uri kumwumva neza.

Ushobora kubimwereka umubaza ibijyanye n’ibyo yavugaga cyangwa nawe ugenda wongeraho ibindi, ibi byerekana ko umuntu utamusuzuguye kandi ko ibyo ari kuvuga atari kubwira umuntu udahari.

Icyo ugomba guhora wibuka ni ukutiyerurutsa ngo wigire undi muntu utari we. Niba utewe ishema n’uwo uri we, byerekane gutyo, ibyo bituma umuntu mukundana ashobora kukugira inama y’imyitwarire yawe adakunda, bityo ukaba wayihindura.

Ikindi ukwiriye kuzirikana ni uko abantu benshi bahora bibuka igihe basohokanye n’umukunzi wabo ku nshuro ya mbere. Ni ngombwa kwita ku kuremera umukunzi wawe ibihe byiza azahora yibuka, aho gukoresha uyu mwanya mu kumwiyemeraho n’ibindi nk’ibyo.

Mu gihe wasohokanye n'umukunzi wawe ku nshuro ya mbere, ni ngombwa kwita ku biganiro muri bugirane aho kwita cyane ku kumwemeza no kwerekana ko ufite ubutunzi bw'ikirenga

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