Umuyobozi w’Ikigo cy’amasomo ajyanye n’imibanire y’abantu muri Kaminuza ya Michigan, Jeffrey Morenoff, mu bushakashatsi yakoze ku bijyanye n’uruhare abaturanyi bagira mu mibereho ya muntu, yagaragaje ko uko ubanye n’umutanyi bigira uruhare ku buzima bwo mu mutwe n’ibindi ukora muri rusange.

Morenoff avuga ko bigoranye kubura icyo upfa n’umuturanyi kuko muba muhurira muri byinshi, ariko bishoboka ko wakwirinda ko mwagira ibyo mupfa byinshi.

IGIHE yifashishije urubuga thespruce.com yabateguriye inama esheshatu zafasha abaturanyi kubana neza.

Mu gihe hari ikibazo ugiranye n’umuturanyi, irinde kukizanamo abandi baturanyi

Kuganiriza umuturanyi wawe ikibazo ufitanye n’umuturanyi wanyu ntibizigera na rimwe biba igisubizo cy’ikibazo mufitanye, ahubwo ibyago byinshi ni uko bizaba intandaro y’amatiku.

Ibi biterwa n’uko uwo muturanyi waganirije azagenda akabibwira uwo mufitanye ikibazo, rimwe na rimwe akongeramo ibindi bibi utavuze niba uri umuntu nawe udaharabikana.

Irinde kurakazwa n’ubusa

Ntibishobora kubaho ko abaturanyi babura icyo bapfa cyane cyane iyo bafite byinshi bahuriraho, niyo mpamvu kurakara buri gihe iyo agize aho agukosereza bitazigera bitanga amahoro mu mubano wanyu.

Igihe ubona hari ikibi agukoreye ariko kikaba nta gihombo gikabije byaguteye, irinde kwirirwa umurakarira ndetse ntunamwereke ko hari icyo byagutwaye, ubikore nk’umuntu uziko aho ikiremwa muntu kiri hose kirangwa no gukosa.

Mu gihe mufitanye ikibazo, tera intambwe ya mbere

Mu gihe bibayeho ko wowe n’umuturanyi wawe murakaranya kubera impamvu runaka, witegereza ko ari we utera intambwe ya mbere ngo aze mukemure ikibazo, ahubwo irengagize ibyabaye byose umwegere, muganire, munakemure ikibazo mufitanye.

Wikwinjira mu mibanire ye n’uwo bashakanye

Igihe ufite urugo muturanye, si byiza ko wakwinjira mu bibazo umugore waho afitanye n’umugabo we, nk’umuturanyi ibyo ntabwo bikureba cyane, izo nshingano zirekere inshuti zabo kuko mushobora kuba muturanye kandi mutari inshuti.

Gusa mu gihe aribo bateye intambwe bakakubwira ibibazo byabo, bahe umwanya ubumve, ubabwire uko ubitekereza gusa wirinde kubafatira umwanzuro no kugira uruhande ubogamiraho.

Irinde amagambo

Irinde kuba wavuga abaturanyi bawe nabi, ubwira abandi bantu, kabone nubwo ibyo waba uvuga ari ukuri. Mu gihe wumva ibyo uvuga uri mu kuri, wagakwiye kubibwira ba nyirubwite mbere y’uko ubibwira abandi bantu abo aribo bose.

Uretse no kuba abaturanyi, muri rusange nta muntu ukunda abagenda bamuvuga cyane cyane iyo bamuvuga nabi.

Niyo mpamvu mu gihe ugize icyo ubona kitagenda ku muturanyi wawe, bimubwire, nubona atikosora umenye ko ari ko ateye, wige kubana na we gutyo utiriwe ubibwira abandi.

Irinde ibibabangamira

Mu gihe uziko abaturanyi bawe badakunda urusaku cyangwa akavuyo k’abantu benshi, irinde kuba intandaro yabyo niba ntacyo bigutwaye, kandi mu gihe wumva wenda hari ibyo waza kurengaho kandi uziko biri bubangamire nko kuba wenda uwo munsi uraza gucuranga cyane kubera ibirori ufite, bateguze hakiri kare.

Uretse ibijyanye n’urusaku n’akavuyo, hari n’abaturanyi badakunda umuntu batiza ikintu akagitindana, mu gihe hari icyo wabatiye ni byiza ko ukibasubiza mu gihe wabemereye.

Kwirinda icyabangamira abaturanyi bawe ni kimwe mu byagufasha kubana nabo neza