Ubu bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko mu bafite imyaka 65 kuzamura, 15,2% bandukanye n’abo bashakanye mu 2022 ugereranyije 5,2% bari baratandukanye n’abo bashakanye mu 1990.

Iyi mibare igaragaza ko urukundo rurushaho gukonja. Isi ya kera si yo y’ubu! Ibibazo mu mubano w’abakundana ni byinshi, benshi bararira.

Ababeshywe urukundo bakaribwa amafaranga, abatotezwa mu rukundo, abo batendeka n’ibindi biri gututumba kubera ko ubuhemu bwimitswe na benshi.

Ingaragu zirizwa no kubura abakunzi nyakuri, abarugezemo bakavuga ko birutwa no kwibera wenyine. Muri make kubona umukunzi byabaye ikibazo cy’indyankurye.

Umuhanzikazi w’Umunyamerika, Katy Perry, yatangaje ko nk’umunyamideli bidapfa kumworohera kujya mu rukundo, kuko bamwe bamushakamo inyungu kubera ubwamamare bwe, cyangwa bakeneye kwishimisha, bikarangirira aho.

Ibi byagarutsweho kandi n’umuhanzikazi Selena Gomez, na we wigeze gutangaza ko bitamworoheye na gato kubona umukunzi umwumva by’ukuri akamwizera, kubera ubwamamare afite mu muziki.

Urukundo rwahinduye isura

Mu myaka ya kera, ibyahuzaga abasore n’inkumi byari ibirori, inama z’umuryango, gusurana hagati y’abaturanyi n’ibindi, bigatuma amahitamo yabo yoroha kuko bakundaga abo bazi, urukundo rwabo rugashingira ku kubaka urugo.

Muri iyi minsi, abakunzi bakurwa ku mbuga za internet nka Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid n’izindi rimwe na rimwe zikabahuza bagamije gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina gusa.

Ubushakashatsi bw’ikigo Pew Research Center, bwagaragaje ko mu 2017 abagera kuri 45% bahisemo kuba ingaragu kugeza bashaje, mu gihe abangana na 10% ari bo gusa bavuze ko bari mu rukundo rwashinze imizi.

Abanyarwanda ba kera bo bacaga umugani ko “Uwabuze umuranga yaheze mu nda ya nyina!” Umuryango warambagizaga mu wundi, bagashyingira abana babo, umusore n’umukobwa bagakundana nk’aho bihitiyemo, urugo rugakomera.

Gutereta byaragoranaga mu myaka ya kera, bigatuma uwo wabonye umukomeraho cyangwa ukitwa ikigwari, mu gihe ubu bishoboka kujya mu nkundo nyinshi icya rimwe.

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe mu 2024 na Schroeder na Fishbach bo muri Kaminuza ya California, bwagaragaje ko 30% by’abaterese binyuze ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, batakaza icyizere igihe bahuye n’abo bakunze.

Iterambere kandi ryateye benshi guhugirana no gukendera kw’ibikorwa by’imiryango, byahuzaga abantu bakaba bakundana byoroshye kuko baziranye.

Ubuzima bw’imbuga nkoranyambaga bushuka benshi. Abazikoresha bigaragaza uko batari bagamije gukurura amaso y’abantu, ukuri kwabo kwajya hanze, bagasuhererwa.

Nk’uko ubushakashatsi bwa Schroeder na Fishbach bubigaragaza, gukundana bituruka ku kumenyana hagati yanyu, ibiganiro no guhuza intego. Iki ni kimwe mu byihishe abantu kuko icyihuta hagati yabo ni ukuryamana bishimisha, nk’uko ubu bushakashatsi bubyerekana.

Kuryamana no kwishimisha nta kibazo mu rukundo, gusa ikibazo kibaho mu gihe abakundanye badafite intego berekezamo urukundo rwabo, bitari gusa uko kwishimisha.

Kubona umukunzi biragoye

Bitewe no kutamenyana, biragora kwemera guhura n’umuntu utazi neza, n’iyo bibayeho bikorwa mu rwikekwe, ufite ubwoba ko ashobora kuba ari umugizi wa nabi, akubeshya ko yagukunze kubera inyungu agushakaho, n’ibindi. Ibi bituma mudakundana ahubwo ubwoba bukakuganza.

Ngira ngo imvugo ya “Nyashi” na we yakugezeho. Urifuza umukunzi ufite ikibuno kinini, urifuza umukobwa uturuka mu muryango ukize, urifuza ubwiza butangaje, ariko urabona uhabanye n’uwo, ukumva ntiwamukunda.

Ukeneye umukunzi w’umuhanga, wize amashuri menshi kandi mwiza imbere no ku mutima kandi biragoye kubona uwujuje byose, ibyo na byo bikakubera imbogamizi mu gutereta.

Nubwo imbuga nkoranyambaga zishobora kugufasha kubona umukunzi, ni byiza kongera ibikorwa byahuriza abantu hamwe nk’imyidagaduro, ibikorwa by’ubumenyi runaka, iby’imiryango n’ibindi bihuza abantu imbonankubone.

Ntitwahakana ko bigoye kubona umukunzi muri iyi minsi, gusa bitewe n’igihe wabihaye bishobora kukorohera. Irinde umubano wa huti huti, wige neza imico y’uwo wakunze mbere yo kumugezaho icyifuzo cyo gukundana, ndetse amarangamutima ntakuganze cyane, ukoreshe intekerezo mu guhitamo.

Ibibazo mu mubano w'abakundana bikomeje guca intege abandi bifuza urukundo