Ubumwe bw’abashakanye ni zo imbaraga zabo

Yanditswe na Padiri Victor Amerika
Kuya 27 Gashyantare 2021 saa 09:05
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Umunyarwanda yaravuze ati “Umwe arya bihora”. Iyo uhaye ibiryo umwana umwe, arya yirozonga, ndetse ashobora no kwicwa n’inzara kandi ibiryo bihari ariko iyo umusangije na mukuru we, barya vuba bakabimara bigishyushye kandi bagaterana umuhate bagasaba kongezwa.

Iyo umuntu ari mu rugendo rwa wenyine, ananirwa vuba ariko iyo abonye uwo bafatanya kandi bahuje umugambi, urugendo ruroroha. Iyo abashakanye bunze ubumwe, bagera kuri byinshi kandi byiza mu gihe gito. Kandi koko abishyize hamwe nta kibananira. Ni yo mpamvu rero twavuga ko ”Ubumwe bw’abashakanye ari zo mbaraga zabo”!

Kugira ngo tubashe kumva neza iyi nsanganyamatsiko ndifuza ko tubanza gusesengura aya magambo yo mu rurimi rw’Igifaransa: “Unique”, “Identiques” na “semblables”.

A) “Unique”: Buri muntu wese ni we, ni wewe kandi niwe wenyine. Bivuze ko umuntu wese ari umwihariko. Nta fotokopi nyayo y’umuntu ibaho. Burya n’abo twita impanga nyazo bagira ibyo batandukaniraho. Abashakanye bagomba kumenya kwakira ubudasa (difference) kuri bagenzi babo.

B) “Semblables”: Ni ugusa ariko atari muri byose. Kuba abashakanye bafite byinshi bahuriraho ntibivuze ko aho batandukaniye hadahari. N’Imana iremara umugabo uwo bazabana yamushakiye uwo bakwiranye! Barakwiranye ariko ntibasa, ahubwo ubwo budasa bwabo ni bwo bukungu bwabo kugira ngo buzuzanye.

C) “Identiques”: Ni uguhuza ibibaranga byose. Niyo abashakanye basa nk’intobo ntibashobora gusa muri byose kuko nyine buri wese ari umwihariko. Ahubwo biga kunga ubumwe, koroherana no guhuza muri byinshi.

Niyo mpamvu rero kugira ngo abashakanye bunge ubumwe, bisaba kubanza kwemera kwakira ko babanye ariko basanzwe bafitanye itandukaniro. Kugira ngo kudasa kwabo babibyaze inyungu bibasaba gushyira hamwe.

Umubano w’abashakanye uvuze iki?

Kugira ngo tubashe kumva neza ibi bisobanuro bijyana n’inshingano z’abashakanye reka twiyambaze uburyo butatu bisobanurwamo mu gitabo cyitwa: “Urarwubake cyane” cya Padiri Amerika Victor ku rupapuro rwa 91, 92 na 325.

A) Uko amategeko afata ugushyingirwa k’umugabo n’umugore

Indahiro abasezerana imbere y’amategeko bagira igaragaza neza inshingano n’uburenganzira abashakanye baba bafite. Iragira iti: “Njyewe....maze kumva icyo amategeko ategeka abashyingiranywe, nemeye Nta gahato ko wowe.... umbera umugore/umugabo, tukazabana uko twabyiyemeje kandi dukurikije uko amategeko ya Repubulika y’u Rwanda abiteganya”.

B) Uko abemera Imana bafata ugushyingirwa k’umugabo n’umugore

Bitewe n’aho buri wese asengera, bitewe n’imyemerere ntavogerwa buri wese yemerewe gusezerana imbere y’Imana.
Mfate kuri iyi ndahiro y’abashyingirwa muri Kiliziya Gatolika, ndahamya ko buri wese abonamo icyerecyezo n’igisobanuro cy’umubano w’abashakanye. Iyo ndahiro iragira iti: “Njyewe.... nemeye ko wowe..... umbera umugore/umugabo, kandi ngusezeranyije ko ntazaguhemukira mu mibereho yacu, ari mu mahoro no mu makuba, waba muzima cyangwa urwaye, ku buryo nzagukunda kandi nzakubaha iteka ryose, kugera gupfa”.

C) Igisobanuro rusange cy’umubano w’abashakanye

“Gushinga urugo ni ugutangira inzira ndende. Inzira umugabo n’umugore batangira batabona neza aho bagana ariko kubera umugambi bahuje wo kubana mu rukundo, mu bwiyumanganye no mu bumwe bwuzuye, byose bakabinyuramo neza. Bahura n’ibyiza bakabisangira ubudacuranwa, bahura n’ibyago bagafashanya kubitambukamo ubudasigana. Bityo bagahorana icyizere ko ejo hazaba heza kurusha uyu munsi” (Urarwubake cyane ku rupapuro rwa 325).

Mu mahugurwa agamije kongera guhuza ingo zibanye nabi yabaye mu karere ka Nyanza mu murenge wa Cyabakamyi, umwe mu bagore yarahagurutse abwira abagabo ati “Ntimukadufate ku ngufu, tunaniwe kandi dushonje”! Ibi rero byanyeretse ko mu ngo z’abashakanye harimo ibibazo byinshi biterwa no kutunga ubumwe ngo barebere hamwe icyabagirira akamaro bose.

Abashakanye bunze ubumwe koko nta kwikunda byabaho, nta kwikubira no gusesagura umutungo byabaho, nta bukene n’inzara byabarangwaho kuko baba bahuza imbaraga mu iterambere rusange ry’urugo, nta gutererana abana no kudohoka ku nshingano z’uburere bw’abana byabaho ndetse nta n’ihohoterwa iryo ariryo ryose ryarangwa mu muryango.

Urugo si ishyirahamwe cyangwa ikimina

Kubana kw’abashakanye ntibikuraho gutandukana mu miterere, mu mitekerereze n’imigirire. Ahubwo iyo byose babigiranye urukundo bubaka ubumwe butuma bahuza muri byose.

Ngendeye kuri ibi bisobanuro byose, ndemeza ko ubumwe bw’abashakanye ari zo mbaraga zabo. Ubumwe bw’abashakanye bufite inkomoko mu mugambi w’Imana yo yabaremye badasa kugira ngo buzuzanye. Ubumwe bwabo buri mu miterere karemano yabo no mu nshingano biyemeje igihe bemeraga gushinga urugo. Izo nshingano kandi nizo zituma bagira ibyishimo bituruka ku burenganzira bahabwa no kuba ababyeyi.

Ubumwe bw’abashakanye butandukanye n’ubumwe abantu basanzwe bakora bimwe bahuza (abaririmbyi, abakinnyi b’umupira...). Ubumwe bwabo butambutse ubwo mu kazi kuko urugo si ishyirahamwe, si ikimina cy’abikorera ku nyungu bwite z’umwe umwe ukwe cyangwa ikindi gikorwa ubishatse wese ashoramo imigabane agamije inyungu ze bwite. Ubumwe bw’abashakanye bushingiye ku “isangirabuzima” rya buri munsi kandi ntibugamije inyungu bwite z’umwe mu bashakanye ahubwo z’umuryango we wose.

Nk’uko Ijambo ry’Imana ribivuga “Umugore ahambiriye ku Mugabo we igihe cyose akiriho” (1 Kor 7, 39). Ibi bivuze ko abashakanye bafitanye ubumwe budasaza kandi n’inshingano zabo ntizisaza cyane cyane iyo hari abana babashibutseho. Niyo bo batandukana kubera impamvu zitandukanye z’ubuzima ariko inshingano n’uburenganzira byabo ku bana birakomeza.

Iyo witegereje imbaraga zishyirwa muri “gatanya”, zigiye mu kubaka umuryango utekanye hari byinshi byakemuka. Ariko kandi aho gusubirana kw’abashakanye bitagishobotse, nibatandukane neza, ntawe uteje undi rubanda dore ko no kugira ibanga biri mu muco wacu. Birababaje rwose kuri iki gihe aho abashakanye bashyira amabanga yabo hanze ngo n’uko batandukanye. Bibuke ko ibikomere by’ayo mateka yabo bigera no kurubyaro rwabo kandi bikarwangiza ku buryo bukomeye.

Erega na nyuma yo gutandukana bakwiye kunga ubumwe mu kwakira ibibabaho no kubibyaza isomo ry’ubuzima, maze bose bagaharanira kubaho.

Murarwubake cyane !

Padiri akaba n'umwanditsi w'ibitabo, Amerika Victor

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