Ibintu abakundana bagomba kwimenyereza mbere yo kubana

Yanditswe na Umutoni Rosine
Kuya 15 Werurwe 2018 saa 10:59
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Kugira ngo umubano w’abakundana ube uw’ibihe byose ni ngombwa ko abashaka gushinga umuryango hari ibyo bimenyereza mbere yo gutera iyo ntambwe.

Abitegura kuzabana akaramata bagira ibyo baha agaciro mbere yo kwemeranywa kubana by’iteka nta kwishishyanya kandi baziranye.

Inkuru ya Huffington Post igaragaza ko abantu bitegura kubana baba bakwiye kumarana igihe, bakagirana gahunda zitandukanye zibahuza kenshi kuko bituma buri wese arushaho kumenya mugenzi we ndetse akanamwiyumvamo.

Ibi ni bimwe mu byakusanyijwe bikwiye kwitabwaho mu bari mu rugendo rw’urukundo rurambye.

-  Gutemberana

Gufata urugendo rurerure, ugatemberana n’umukunzi wawe ni byiza kuko bigufasha kumenyana byimbitse ndetse no kumenya uko yitwara igihe ahuye n’ikintu runaka kimugoye.

Inzobere mu by’imitekerereze, Spencer Scott, avuga ko uko utemberana n’umuntu munaganira aribwo umenya ibyo akunda, ibyo yanga niba ari umuntu utekereza ibyiza mu buzima bwe cyangwa se niba ari ahora abona ko nta cyiza kiri mu buzima bugira.

-  Gufata imyanzuro hatabaye intonganya

Kuba abakundana batakumvikana ku ngingo runaka nta kibazo kibirimo ariko uburyo babiganiraho batuje nta rusaku no guterana amagambo bituma bagera ku mwanzuro uboneye.

Inzobere mu kugira inama imiryango John Amodeo yagize ati “Ni gute utekereza ko uzihanganira kutumvikana uzagirana n’umuntu mwamaze gushakana igihe utabasha kwihangana ngo umutege amatwi muganire mutuje mukiri abasore ngo kandi muze kugera ku mwanzuro, mwembi mwumvikanyeho.”

Avuga ko uko muganira ari nako ubasha kureba niba umuntu wawe aca bugufi mukumvikana cyangwa se niba atera hejuru ibintu bikaba intambara.

-  Kuganira byimbitse ku byaranze ubwana bwanyu

Gusobanukirwa umukunzi wawe, ibyo yizera, ibyo yemera, kumenya ibyerekeye umuryango we n’ibyo ukunda, ibyagiye bimushimisha n’ibyamubabaje kuva mu bwana bwe ni ingezi cyane.

Ibi bituma umenya niba azakurutisha umuryango we, ukamenya uko uzagufata kandi ni ibintu bituma murushaho kumenyana umubano wanyu ukazaramba.

-  Kuganira ku mafaranga mukoresha

Uretse kuba hari ibyo mwemeranyaho bijyanye n’imico n’imyitwarire, ugomba no kumenya imikoreshereze y’amafaranga y’umukunzi wawe.

Bijya bibaho ko umwe yumva ko mugenzi we afite amafaranga wenda ashingiye ku gihe amaze mu kazi, ariko kuko batabiganiriyeho ugasanga bibateje ibibazo nyuma.

Kuganira ku mafaranga mwumva mutarenza mu bikorwa muba mwatwateganyije byo kwinezeza kwanyu ni byiza, bikwereka niba n’ibindi bikorwa bizakenerwa iwanyu mwarashinze umuryango muzajya mubitegurana.

-  Kwifatanya mu bihe bigoye

Biroroha kuba abantu bakwifatanya mu bihe byiza, iyo rero ibihe bibi bije nibwo umenya koko niba umukunzi wawe mwifatanyije cyangwa niba agucikaho. Igihe ubona umuntu mwifatanyije mu bibazo no mu gahinda aho niho ubucuti bwanyu burushaho kugaragara kuko burya nta muntu wakwitesha uwamubaye hafi mu bibazo.

-  Kuganira n’inzobere mu mibanire y’imiryango

Ni byiza gufata igihe mukaganira n’inararibonye mu bijyanye n’imiryango kuko hari byinshi muba mukeneye kumenya mutaratangira umuryango wanyu. Ibyo bibafasha kwisobanukirwa, atari uburyo ubwanyu mwebwe mwiyumva ahubwo bigizwemo n’undi muntu utabifitemo inyungu.

-  Ibiganiro byerekeye gutera akabariro

Kuganira ku kijyanye no gutera akabariro ni ingenzi hagati y’abakundana kuko uko byagenda kose baba bafite aho bazahurira nabyo kandi iyo bititaweho bishobora guteza ibibazo.

Gutera akabariro ni igikorwa nyamukuru cy’abashakanye; kugira ngo umubano utazazamo agatotsi biturutse kuri iyo ngingo biba byiza iyo umwe azi igihe mugenzi we yishimira icyo gikorwa n’igihe aba atacyishimira kugira bitazabatanya.

Mu rugendo rwo gushing urugo no kwemeranya kubana akaramata hari byinshi abantu bakwimenyereza mbere yo gufata icyo cyemezo.

Mu bintu abakundana bagomba kwimenyereza mbere yo kubana harimo no kuganira ibyerekeye imibonano mpuzabitsina

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