Bimwe mu byo udakwiye gushingiraho ngo utandukane n’uwo mwashakanye

Yanditswe na Mukaneza M.Ange
Kuya 11 Ukuboza 2017 saa 12:18
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Mu gihe mu bihe byashize umugore n’umugabo babanaga kugeza batandukanyijwe n’urupfu, kuri ubu iyo abantu bashakanye bakamara imyaka 10 bakiri kumwe, buri wese aba yumva yifuza kumenya ibanga ryatumye barambana kuko hari abo zisenyuka nta n’umwaka urashira ubukwe bubaye.

Uku gutandukana kwa hato na hato usanga guterwa n’uko byinshi mu bibazo abashakanye bagirana hagati yabo, bahitamo kubikemura binyuze muri gatanya kurusha gushaka umuti wabikemura bitabasabye guca ukubiri.

Umwanditsi akaba n’umuvugabutumwa, Dave Willis abinyujije ku rubuga Patheos yagaragaje ko nubwo hari impamvu zifatika zishobora gutuma umuntu afata umwanzuro wo gutandukana n’uwo bashakanye, hari n’ibindi abantu bashingiraho we yemeza ko ari amafuti.

Izi mpamvu ariko ntizigamije gutuma umuntu yihambira mu rugo rutuma yumva nta mutekano n’ibyishimo afite, ahubwo zatuma ubasha gufunguka amaso ukabona ko mbere ya gatanya hari andi mahitamo menshi mu gukemura ibibazo biri mu rugo rwawe.

1.Kumva nta rukundo rukirangwa hagati yanyu

Inshuti yawe iramutse ije ikugana ikakubwira ko ihangayikishijwe n’uko nta rukundo rukirangwa hagati ye n’uwo bashakanye bityo yifuza kwaka gatanya, nawe ushobora kumva ko ifite ishingiro.

Nyamara ariko uramutse utekereje neza ushobora gusanga harimo kwibeshya cyane no kwitiranya urukundo, kuko burya gukunda si ibyiyumviro gusa ahubwo bijyana n’ibintu runaka umuntu aba yariyemeje.

Nubwo ibyiyumviro ari ngombwa, kubaka urugo rwawe rugakomera bikwiye gushingira cyane ku guha agaciro ibintu runaka muba mwariyemeje umunsi mwemeranya kubana akaramata.

Guhana umwanya no kuganira ku bitagenda neza mu rugo rwanyu, ni wo musingi uzatuma mwubaka rugakomera.

2. Kutabasha kumvikana ku mikoreshereze y’amafaranga

Ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwagiye bugaragaza ko ibibazo birebana n’amafaranga biza ku isonga mu gutuma abashakanye batandukana.

Witegereje neza ariko usanga harimo imibare mike, kuko inzira yo kwaka gatanya burya itwara amafaranga menshi kurusha ayagenda ku kintu icyo ari cyo cyose, iri ni na ryo banga ngo ryihishe inyuma y’ubukire bw’abunganizi mu mategeko bakora cyane mu manza za gatanya mu gihe ba nyiri ugutandukana basigarana ubukene.

Aho kugana inkiko mujya kwaka gatanya kubera ko mutabasha kumvikana ku bijyanye n’imikoreshereze y’umutungo wanyu, inama ikwiye ni ugusanga abajyanama mu mibanire bakabafasha kubona ahari ikibazo n’inzira yo kugikemura mutabanje gusenya ibyo mwari mu maze kugeraho.

3. Kumva ko kuba wenyine ari byo bizakuzanira ibyishimo

Ibyishimo ni kimwe mu bintu umuntu uri hano ku isi aharanira kugeraho, ariko burya gusenya urugo rwawe ngo ni byo ukurikiye ni ukwibeshya cyane.

Kimwe mu binyoma bimaze kwinjira mu muco w’abantu n’imyumvire ni uko gushaka umunezero bifite agaciro kurusha imiryango yacu, ibyo twiyemeje kugeraho, guharanira kunguka ubumenyi n’ibindi.

Aha niho uzasanga umuntu ahisemo guta urugo rwe ngo agiye kuba wenyine cyangwa kubana n’undi muntu utuma yishima kurushaho, ariko nyamara hashira igihe runaka ugasanga yasaruye agahinda n’ubwigunge.

4. Kugira ingingo runaka mutajya mubasha kumvikanaho

Gutandukana kubera ko hari ingingo zitandukanye mutumvikanaho ni kimwe mu byo dukunda kumva abashakanye guhera ku byamamare kugeza ku bantu baciriritse bashingiraho basaba gatanya.

Burya ariko abantu babana bakarambana si uko baba badafite ingingo runaka batajya bumvikanaho na rimwe kubera impamvu zitandukanye, ahubwo ni uko baba barafashe umwanzuro wo kudaha urwaho ibibatanya, bashyira imbere ibibahuza.

Nta na rimwe bizabaho ko uhura n’umuntu muzahuza ku ngingo zose zirebana n’urugo cyangwa ubuzima bwanyu bwite, ahubwo icy’ingenzi ni ukwicara mukemeranya ko hari ibyo mutumvikanaho, mukagerageza kwihanganirana no gufata ibyemezo bitagize uwo bibangamira n’umwe hagati yanyu.

5.Kwanga kubabarira uwo mwashakanye

Ni kenshi uwo mwashakanye azagukorera amakosa, ku buryo wumva aho kumuha imbabazi watandukana na we. Burya ariko kutababarira ntabwo ari igihano k’uwagukoreye ikosa gusa, ahubwo nawe ubwawe bihora bigushengura umutima.

Uyu mwanditsi agereranya ‘kubika inzika, nko kunywa uburozi ugategereza ko undi muntu apfa’. Nudahitamo kubabarira, iteka umutima wawe uzahora ubabaye wibuka amakosa wakorewe n’uwo mwashakanye kabone nubwo muzaba mumaze imyaka itari mike mutandukanye.

Imbabazi ntizivuze ko ikosa bagukoreye rihanaguwe, cyangwa se ko utigeze ubabara, ahubwo ni uguhitamo inzira yo gukira igikomere kurusha gutanga igihano cyangwa kubika inzika bishobora no gutuma wihorera.

6. Kuba gutera akabariro bitakigenda uko ubyifuza

Nta wahakana ko akabariro ari kimwe mu by’ingenzi birangwa mu rushako, nyamara ariko iyo icyo gikorwa kitakigenda neza uko ubyifuza umuti nyawo ntabwo ari gatanya.

Gutandukana n’uwo mwashakanye ukurikiye imibonano mpuzabitsina ni ikosa rikomeye, kuko burya n’aho uzajya uzifuza undi ufite icyo arusha uwo wasanze.

Aho kwaka gatanya, ibyiza ni ukuganira n’uwo mwashakanye, ukamwereka ibikubangamiye ndetse n’ibyo wifuza ko yahindura kugira igikorwa cyo kubaka urugo rwanyu kijye kirushaho kugenda neza.


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